Considering....

Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value - Albert Einstein

I dunno but i've been thinking about life lately (and it's not the first time in my life thinking k) and i'm wondering what i am doing about my life..
I've recently been down pes in army to Pes C which mean storeman (armskoteman also possible) but i think i would prefer those to being a rifleman. I don't aim to be successful in army or to be like the best soldier but rather i aim to help those around me the way that i can and it's not by going out there and being a RAMBO and randomly shooting. I don't like being in the forefront unless necessary. I prefer to support people from the background then i consider it's meaningful. I don't want to kill people but there is the argument that i'm helping people kill others which is something i cannot refute. BUT the thing is that anyone of us could be killers and would we consider parents feeding their children when they are young as accomplices? i'm not too sure about that either.. i'm just another confused idiot walking around..

Coming back to einstein's quote.. Man of value.. In this world of perfectionism there is really no place for such a naive person. Bosses want smart employees who can bring in profit. Teachers want clever students etc.. but there would always be rejects and faulty products of society. who are we to judge? but everyone else is judging, throwing criticism and insults. Really makes me wonder what society is now, how to be this person of value and not a person of success.

We seems soooooooo intent on success that we might neglect our values like to family, to friends to loved ones, to each other and maybe to the extend even ourselves.. i really dunno sia..
i'm really so lost and i dun want to grow up and see all this happening but i guess i have no choice..